Joey Barton Waste Removal

Posted: October 2, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Don't get in my way. Really, don't.

‘Before the (Barton) effect, one believes in different causes than one does after the (Barton) effect.’

Friedrich Nietzsche. 


Chairman’s Message

As the founder of Joey Barton Waste Removal, I strongly believe in the use of viscous brutality towards anyone who doesn’t see things in the same way as me. Regardless of how many pints of Carling I have just poured down my neck.

So let’s get this straight before I begin.

If you ever leave your bins in a mess before I come to collect them, I am going to climb into your bedroom window with a gang of muscley naked bin men and punch you until my fists go numb. Which takes quite a while.

I look forward to waking you up on Wednesday morning.

Bests.

Joseph Anthony Barton.


See you on Wednesday!

Pete Doherty signs for QPR

Posted: August 31, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Doherty in front of a sell out Loftus Road crowd

QPR have boosted their attacking options by signing smack monkey Pete Doherty on a season-long loan from Wormwood Scrubs FC, in a deal thought to be worth over 12 wraps of heroin a week.

Manager Neil Warnock had spoken of the need to find other jailbirds to keep Joey Barton company in the dressing room.

‘He has a good left foot on him and his time spent behind bars will make Joey feel a little more comfortable in the armoured van we are using to transport them between away games.’

Doherty, who was lying in a pool of his own sick, was unavailable for comment on how he would fit into the newly promoted side.